A Beautiful Mess
by Deston
Summary: One year after Hamtaro makes the decision to leave Laura, and he's feeling depressed. The Hams make a plan to lift his spirit again. HxB
1. Prologue

_I'm not responsible for the creation of Hamtaro or any other characters, just this story. I'm on fanfiction, dur._

1 YEAR EARLIER

The full moon poured through the bedroom window, and I looked back one last time. Boxes were stacked and labeled, and the room was completely cleared out, except for a bed and a girl, fast asleep. We had been through so much together, and just seeing her sleeping peacefully as I was about to walk out made my eyes start to water. If I only I didn't have to leave...

Her parents made the decision a few weeks ago, and found a nice, big house they wanted to move to in America, and I knew as soon as I heard about it, my life was going to be changed, regardless of the decision I made. How could I just leave all my friends, though, after I had become so close to them? It took me weeks to realize it, but living without Oxnard, Bijou, Boss... just thinking about it makes me nauseous. Even with Laura around, I don't think I would be able to handle myself. After years and years of sneaking off during the day to the clubhouse, the other ham-hams and I share a bond which I would never be able to feel again if I went with Laura to America.

It's not like I don't love Laura, don't get me wrong, but when she left for school or to hang out with Kana every day, it was always the ham-hams who were there for me. When I went to meet my mother, when we stumbled upon Ham-Ham land, when Boss created Shiron. We all had those adventures, felt those losses, and celebrated those events as a family would, and that's what the Ham-Hams had become; my family.

Laura had grown in the past few years, as well, and it occurred to me that she didn't need me quite as much anymore. She had started middle school, and before long, I had taken a back seat to a lot of her other more social interests. She did her best to maintain the relationship we had, but times change, and so do people. She needed to move on and focus on her own life without me. It occurred to me that I did too.

I climbed up onto her bed and snuggled up against her for the final time, heartbroken that I would never feel her warm skin again. She stirred a little in her sleep, only for a few seconds, and then was deep in sleep again. I fought the urge to simply fall asleep there and crept down the sheets again. I crawled behind the bed and out that familiar hole into the darkness, and I started a new life.

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PRESENT

It was a year ago today that I set out on my own as a field hamster, and things had started to become normal again. I didn't let anyone know that Laura had left because I knew that would only make them worry and try to cheer me up, and I wasn't in the mood for special treatment for a while after that fateful night. I ended up staying in the bushes by Laura's house for a while, that way when Oxnard would come around looking for me, it would seem like I just left the cage for a while.

Of course, Oxnard was my closest friend, and Laura was Kana's best friend, so I knew it was only a matter of time before he pieced everything together. It was only a few days after Laura had gone, which was expected since I figured Kana would be pretty upset by the whole ordeal. Not surprisingly, Pepper found out not long after that, and in case you don't know Pepper, she isn't exactly the quiet type of ham. So, the rest of the gang found out, and that was when I moved further away from Laura's house. Waking up outside it every day had only served to depress me further, and I figured it was about time I learned how to become a true field ham. I refused Boss' offer to stay in the clubhouse, and I dug my own home not far away. That way, I would never miss out on the events at the clubhouse.

Things went by uneventfully for a while, but, as I continued to learn, life is all about change. About 4 months after I had established my field ham lifestyle, Oxnard moved to the farm to be with Pepper. I did my best to put up a strong front, but that turned out to be a VERY hard week or two for me. Oxnard had been the first ham I met when I had moved here with Laura, and it was easy for anyone to see that we were best friends. They ended up visiting now and again, but it was usually months between seeing them.

Boss did finally work up the courage to ask Bijou out after YEARS of being too scared to do so. I had been silently rooting for him for a while, as I could tell he really liked Bijou, but that same day, she had approached me, looking especially troubled. She proceeded to explain the predicament she had found herself in. Apparently, she didn't feel the same was about Boss, but was utterly opposed to the idea of hurting him at all. Bijou had always been thoughtful and caring.

I did my best to give her what I thought was sound advice. I felt like a traitor, but I let her know that it was probably best for her to turn him down; otherwise there would just be two broken hearts later instead of just one now. In the end, she ended up going with Boss, and sure enough, within a few weeks, they had ended it. For a little while after that, they didn't talk much, but they came to their senses and have since become good friends again. I feel like it did Boss some good because he seems to have moved on. He still has Sparkle, Oshare, and Gelato to chase after anyway.

Penelope had grown a bit in the time I left, as well. She's learned a couple new words now, much to everyone's excitement, but she still has a little more to learn before she starts actually forming conversational language. Of course, "snack" is one of her favorites, and "Mina" since she looks up to Pashmina so much. I don't know where she learned the word "love," but she's become quite enamored with it, especially upon seeing me and Bijou playing together or just talking. I don't really understand what makes her think we are the image of love, but Pashmina thinks it's the most adorable thing ever.

What I found most strange though was that Jingle started to show up more and more often after Oxnard left. There's still no improvement in the name department. Ham salad, Hamjiro, Hamtango, he seems to use every "H" name except for mine. In any case, I've started to listen to what he's actually saying a bit more, and once you get past the riddles he speaks in, he's actually pretty wise. I figure it's because he's traveled all over the place and has had a lot of life experience in his wandering lifestyle. He helped me through after I left Laura, and again when Oxnard had moved to the farm. He was even around when Bijou and Boss had their little stint, though I don't really know why he felt he needed to console ME at that point, but the point is he seems to know when hams need some advice and shows up at just the right time.

I finally decide to get up from my bed and head to the clubhouse. If I keep the others waiting, they'll assume I'm feeling sick or upset. Just to think, all that reflection is simply a result of it being the one year anniversary of my departure from the cage. I can already tell today is going to be long. I just hope I can hide enough of my own thoughts that the others won't feel the need to worry themselves over me...

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Alright, this is where I write some author's note about this whole first chapter. I don't think I'll get to write the second one for a little while, as I am quite prone to blocks. In any case, let me explain a little.

I wanted to make this as in character and be consistent with canon as possible while still being my own actual idea. Probably not very in character, considering Hamtaro is leaving Laura, and Boss finally gets the courage to tell Bijou how he feels. Unfortunately, that was the only way to make the story seem ok with Boss almost killing Hamtaro later, as I've seen in other stories.

Those events that I listed earlier are actually from the show / OVAs. I've been watching the Japanese episodes subtitled on ham-ham paradise, and I like the later episodes much more than the episodes in English. I feel like it moves from a 4-5 year old audience to maybe a 6-7 year old audience. The episodes where Hamtaro goes to meet his mother and when Boss creates Shiron actually contain loss but are still kid-friendly, which is why I like them a lot. Plus, the opening and ending songs are ten times better in the Japanese version. :3

That's all I'm gonna say, so I hope you enjoyed this, as it's a result of my growing boredom this summer. Seriously, Noah only had to deal with 40 days of rain. Rainiest summer ever.

Btw, the name of the story is from the song by Jason Mraz. It really doesn't have anything to do with the story, just a beautiful song and good name for the fic.


	2. Set Up

Just some notes before the story continues:

Reviews:

sandandmaxwellfanatic: Thank you, that's exactly what I was going for with Boss and Bijou. As for the site, I'll send you a pm. I'm not exactly sure if I'm supposed to include links to other sites in stories.

DolphinGoddess 17: Yeah, I originally meant the first chapter to be a bit longer, but I ran out of steam pretty quick, and didn't want to let it stew. It's a prologue, though, so I figured it was alright. Thank you very much!

Macarov: Thanks a lot for your perspective. I like first person a lot more than third person. I just find it easier to portray emotions when you speak as the character the events are occurring to.

ChargingForwardBlind: Congrats on first review! Again, thanks for the support. Just read the later chapter of Rain of Nightmares today, and I'm glad to finally know exactly what happened before the whole story with Hamorette and Soren. Waiting patiently for the next chapter. :D

And now, chapter 2!

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BIJOU'S POV

I looked up and let the sun bathe my face. It was a beautiful day, and I walked slowly to the clubhouse, taking it in as much as I could before I dipped underground to visit the others. It didn't bother me that I was later than usual, and I stopped for a second to admire the clear, blue sky. The sounds of birds and squirrels created a little song, just for me, and the fresh scent of flowers still lingered in the air. That's why I loved that short period of time right before summer so much.

As with every day, my path to the clubhouse led me right past Hamtaro's relatively new home. I found it hard to believe that it had been about a year (I couldn't remember the exact date) since he had started out on his own. It came as a shock to all of us, seeing as he had cared so much for Laura in the past. He was so depressed and heartbroken back then, it was almost like he was a completely different ham. It made me really appreciate that Maria's parents hadn't sent her to France like they originally planned. And of course, I felt so relieved when after weeks of sadness, Hamtaro finally managed to get over his loss, at least a bit. It was like seeing a long lost friend again, and I began growing closer and closer to him.

I headed over to his door and knocked, as we usually walked together to the clubhouse. Panda had really outdone himself with the door for Hamtaro's little house, and he had only gotten better since then. It was amazing to think back at how much we had all changed in such a short time. I realized I had been distracted and knocked again, but there was still no answer, so I assumed Hamtaro had already left to get to the clubhouse, and set off without him. As I turned to leave, I thought I heard a sigh from inside, but it seemed more likely it was just the wind. Hamtaro wouldn't have just ignored me.

After another 15 minutes of half-walking, half-skipping, I finally reached one of Boss' many tunnels that led straight to our little hangout. I hopped in, and immediately cleaned myself off a bit. White fur is so nice, especially in the summer, but it was impossible for me to even walk to the clubhouse on a normal basis without getting filthy. Underground tunnels just never agreed with my fur. Regardless, I hurried off down the familiar hole and came upon the door. Without hesitation, I pulled it open and stepped inside.

"Hamha, everyone!" I exclaimed loudly. After being around my friends for so long, my accent had gotten less and less noticeable, and a year later, it had almost disappeared entirely. I broke from my thoughts to take a look around, and noticed everyone around the wooden table. The only ham who appeared to be missing was Hamtaro, but what I found more strange was that everyone had suddenly grown silent when I walked in. They were talking about something important, I knew that for sure, but before I could ask what was going on, the girls had gotten up and were pushing me into one of the empty rooms of the clubhouse, giggling about a "makeover."

"What has gotten into you girls?" I asked loudly once the door had finally been closed and the boys couldn't hear us. I must have been louder than I intended, because they cringed a bit as I spoke.

"Jeez Bijou! Like, blow our ears out why don't you?" Sandy complained while holding her paws to her ears.

"Yeah, the boys are just playing acorn soccer today, so we figured we'd have some girl time!" Pashmina announced, giddy and excited as always. "We're gonna give you a makeover so you can look beautiful for you-know-who..." She paused for a second, probably just for dramatic effect. Of course they all knew I still liked Hamtaro. We were basically like sisters, so there was almost nothing about me they didn't know at this point.

'Wait,' I thought to myself, 'Sandy would never miss out on showing up all the guys in acorn soccer to do a makeover. "You would rather be here than outside playing with the boys, Sandy?" I asked, suspicious since everyone had been acting a little strange today.

"Pashmina said that she wants to make me look...pretty, for Maxwell..." She blushed as she explained the situation, though I could tell she was NOT looking forward to actually looking like a girl. It was obvious she would much rather be outside right now, playing sports. Regardless, I found it very romantic that she would do something she hated so much just for Maxwell. I began to blush as I found myself imagining how Hamtaro would react to my "makeover." I was only interrupted from my thoughts when Penelope finally spoke up.

"Love!" she said, clear as a bell. It WAS pretty much her favorite word since she had begun starting to talk, and she used it constantly. Pashmina picked up the young ham and nuzzled her.

"That's right! Sandy and Maxwell are in love!" She put Penelope down, and I saw Pashmina whisper something in her ear that made them both giggle and glance at me. I would have tried to get them to tell me what they said, but I already knew that was a futile effort. I was getting a little frustrated with all the secrets being passed around in the clubhouse, though, and I resolved to find out what everyone was keeping so private. For now, I figured I should focus on just trying to look my best for Hamtaro.

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I stood there, hours later, staring into the mirror. I knew my jaw was dropped, but I didn't care at that moment. The girls had really outdone themselves, and as I examined the image looking back at me, a smile crept onto my face. I don't know how they did it, but they managed to find beautiful navy blue ribbons with sequins lining the sides that I could wear in place of my normal blue ribbons. They had given me a lighter blue sash that I wore around my waist and tied in the back like a bow. It reminded me of the way Hamtaro had worn Laura's ribbon when he had been taken far away and found his way back home. My paws were cleaned and my nails were filed down a bit as well. My makeup, unlike most of our other "play" makeovers, was done very conservatively, just enough to bring out my eyes a little bit. I had never felt so beautiful in my life.

"Cats! Look at the time!" Sandy's sudden statement broke me from my trance, and I glanced at the clock Panda and Dexter had worked together to create when we started coming to the clubhouse. The face read "5:30." "You need to find Hamtaro, otherwise the whole day will be a waste!" Sandy exclaimed and proceeded to force me out the door. 'How come I have no control over where I go and when today?' I asked myself.

"But Sandy, we haven't done yours yet! Don't you want to look beautiful for Maxwell?" I asked, nervous of approaching Hamtaro and trying to avoid it the best I could. One look at her face was enough to know how she felt about being left out, though. She looked like she couldn't be happier, obviously infinitely relieved she would be able to get out of being girly for once.

Pashmina answered for her while helping to force me out of the room. "We don't have enough time. We'll have to do Sandy's makeover tomorrow!" she squealed, and Sandy's face fell, as she was already dreading what tomorrow would bring. "But...but," I protested, but before I could make a coherent argument, the door was closed and locked behind me.

When I turned around, I felt like every pair of eyes was on me, likely because they were. The boys had finished their game of acorn soccer a while ago, and were currently engaged in their own personal activities for the time being. Maxwell was reading, Panda was building, and Howdy was telling horrible jokes to the others. Just a normal day at the clubhouse. Their short pause from what they were doing felt like forever, and I just stood still, feeling exposed. My eyes darted around, looking for that bit of orange hamster I had taken forever to dress up for, but again, he didn't seem to be around. I was about to just hide in one of the other rooms of the clubhouse when luckily, Boss interjected.

"Looking for Hamtaro?" he asked calmly. The other ham-hams went back to their normal activities and I nodded rigidly to Boss. I could already feel my tension easing since the others had stopped looking at me and focused on other things. 'Is it just me, or do the others look like they're trying TOO hard to act normal?' I considered when I finally had the nerve to look around again. Some of them continued to shoot me glances, and their actions appeared scripted and suspicious. 'Something is going on around here...'

"He showed up a few hours ago," Boss interrupted. "Follow me, I'll show you where he is." he offered, and I quickly jogged behind him as we headed off down one of the many tunnels Boss had constructed in the past few years. I thought again about how strange everyone seemed to be acting, but we popped above ground, and the red and orange light from the sunset distracted me from my thoughts. It took a good two or three minutes of walking before Boss finally stopped and held a few leaves aside for me.

"Hamtaro's straight ahead," he said, and without another word, he turned around and started making his way back to the clubhouse. I looked ahead, and there he was, sitting quietly in the light of the sunset. My heart began to beat faster, and the butterflies in my stomach began to flutter around. I was normally very calm around Hamtaro, but I figure just the circumstances cause me to become suddenly nervous. The twigs and branches had been moved out of the way not long ago, it looked like, in order to create this perfect view of the sunset.

It hit me then what had been going on all day. The boys hadn't been playing soccer at all, they were clearing this area out for just this occasion, and the makeover hadn't been just on a whim, it was planned. The ham-hams were attempting to set me and Hamtaro up. 'I'm going to have to thank them all later' I thought to myself, blushing madly. 'But why today?' I shook the thought and swallowed hard before approaching him.

The leaves and grass rustled around my feet as I walked, and I was only a few steps away when Hamtaro turned around to see who it was. Hamtaro was always smiling, but as his eyes caught mine, I realized his mouth was turned in a frown instead. His brown eyes looked sad, and his whole body was drooped down. It didn't take much to figure out there was something on his mind. Regardless, he tried his best to force a smile when I walked up, before returning his gaze on the orange sun already starting to dip below the horizon.

I sat down beside him, and stared out at this beautiful view the other hams had cleared especially for us. I had walked by the spot many times, but the brush had always blocked what I felt was one of the most beautiful views I had ever seen. The city was tucked away on the right side of a great, rolling hill, lights beginning to flicker on for the night, and the clouds had changed from monotone white to a thousand different shades of pink, orange, and red. In the far distance, I could make out a few high mountains, seemingly standing watch over this awe-inspiring scenery. My heart melted.

Hamtaro sighed, and I felt the butterflies return to my stomach. 'Maybe I should have put a bit more blush on,' I nervously thought, nervous that maybe there was something we had missed during the makeover. 'Well, it's too late now,' I reasoned, and glanced at the ham sitting next to me. His far off, depressed look hadn't changed since I had first approached, and it made me feel sad to know that something was bothering him so much. I put aside my own feelings of anxiety, and tried to talk to him, hoping I could dispel some of his somber thoughts.

"The view from here is beautiful," I said quietly. I knew it was kind of cheesy and lame, but I couldn't think of anything else to start a conversation.

"Yeah..." he sighed, then said nothing. Confused, I pressed a little more to get him to talk to me.

"I wish I could just sit here and watch the sunset forever, don't you?" I asked.

"Sure," he muttered before going mute again. I inched closer and gently touched his paw with mine.

"I'm really glad I could be here to watch it with you," I almost whispered. He shifted a bit, moving his hand.

"Bijou..." he said, exasperated, "I'm sorry, but...I just want to be alone right now..."

My heart felt shattered as soon as the words escaped his mouth. I felt my eyes instantly begin to water, and it got harder to breathe. 'He didn't even notice?' I tried my best to comprehend what he meant. After spending all day trying to look my best just for him, he wanted me to leave him alone? At first, I thought that maybe I had done something wrong, something he didn't like, and I searched my memory for any reason why he would be upset with me. When I couldn't find anything, though, I began to grow very frustrated, and my frustration soon led me to become mad at Hamtaro. 'The least he could've done,' I vented, 'was acknowledge what I had done all day just for him!'

I got up and began to walk away, but something inside me must have just broken. After secretly admiring him for so long, my fragile little heart just couldn't take it anymore. I had never been so upset with Hamtaro, and before I could process what I was doing, I had turned around to face him again. Warm tears were stinging my eyes, and my face felt burning hot. I did something then I never thought I would ever do. I began yelling at Hamtaro.

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Believe me, I meant it when I said this story would be HxB. You're just gonna have to wait for that. As far as the next chapter goes, I have a feeling it's gonna be real hard to write, but I'm kinda looking forward to it. Just one word as a hint: Jingle.

I wanted to do this in first person, because as an omnipotent narrator knowing everyone's feelings, it sort of takes away from making the audience feel some sort of emotion. Doing first person, I felt, would make it easier to relate to the character, so now we have a bit of how Hamtaro feels from the Prologue, and what Bijou's experiencing in this chapter. I'm gonna be switching back and forth, so it won't be all one person's point of view the entire time.

Alright, now some explaining. One of my buddies graduated from high school and went to a college in South Carolina. I live in the Northeast, mind you. About a year later, when that person came back to visit, he had managed to pick up a southern accent. When I wrote this, I thought 'what better way to show passage of time than to include Bijou's accent becoming less prominent?' She does hang out with a bunch of other hamsters every single day, none of which speak French, so it only made sense that she would begin talking a bit more like them. In fact, as far as I remember, Maria doesn't even really have an accent. Alright, I'll admit it was also to keep from having to write out Bijou's accent in dialogue. :)

Anyway, I'm just gonna let you make what you will of it now, so I hope you enjoyed it! I'll do my best to make another chapter before TOO long.


	3. Jingle

Thanks for all the reviews so far! I don't intend for this story to go on for a long time. It'll probably be only one chapter after this, and then I have a different idea I'd like to get started on! But first, a few thanks:

RubyxSapphire: Why thank you, and yes, I feel bad for Bijou myself, even though I know what is supposed to happen. :D

CharginForwardBlind: I'm glad you thought I kept Bijou in character! It's a little difficult switching back and forth between perspectives each chapter, but that's the only way it works in the end. Thanks!

sandyandmaxwellfanatic: Wow, the best of all time? I don't know if I agree, but thank you so much anyway! And lucky for you here's the next update. I'm glad it didn't take as long to get out there. :3

So with no further adieu (I think that's how you spell it) here's Chapter 3!

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HAMTARO'S POV

"WHY?!" The silence was shattered by a loud cry, and I instantly whirled around. Behind me, I saw Bijou, her eyes suddenly red, tears flowing freely, and a pained expression on her face. I just sat for a few seconds, confused as to what was going on. 'I just asked if I could have some time by myself' I reasoned, but obviously something had made her really upset. I had never seen her that hurt before in my life, and I couldn't remember the last time she ever yelled at me. I began to try to apologize (for what exactly, I wasn't sure), but she interrupted before I could make a sound, and I quickly snapped my mouth shut.

"How can you be so dense?" she asked, her voice cracking as she spoke. Her eyebrows were raised in heart ache and confusion for just a moment, and then they snapped back down, showing her frustration and anger. "Do you know how long I spent getting dressed up, just for you?!" It took until just then for me to notice.

The light from the setting sun reflected off of sequins on her hair ribbons so that the dark blue was accented with pink and orange highlights, and from that angle, the sash she was wearing almost made it look like she had blue angel wings. The blue in her eyes, which I realized I had never really paid attention to, matched her ribbons perfectly, and the dark colors made her fur seem more white and pure. Her paws were balled in aggravated fists, but somehow they still looked soft to me. She was...beautiful.

She must have noticed me looking closely at her because she turned her head sharply, looking away from me. "What was I thinking!? Nothing I've ever done...has ever been enough for you to notice me!" Her voice cracked again as she spoke...or yelled...but to say that I never noticed her? Ever since a year ago, I had walked to the clubhouse with her, and she had been my closest friend ever since Oxnard had left. Stan always joked around and said that girls would say one thing and mean something completely different. I thought he had just been kidding around, but I was starting to believe him.

"Bijou..."" I said quietly, trying to keep us both calm, "of course I notice you. We play together all the time..." But apparently that wasn't the right thing to say.

"YOU ARE THE MOST IGNORANT, CLUELESS HAM I'VE EVER MET!" she screamed, causing me to cringe at the sheer volume of her voice. I could hear her accent return a bit, likely because she was so distraught at...something... Her eyes were scrunched together so tightly, I couldn't have pried them open with a crow bar, but her tears still leaked through and down her face.

"Bijou, please...tell me what you're so upset about... I-"

"How do you not understand?! Even Penelope gets it, and she's only just started using actual words!" I had never been so confused in my life. 'Have the others been keeping secrets? Maybe they meant to tell me but forgot,' I reasoned. I wasn't the smartest ham in the world (everyone knows Maxwell is), but that seemed to be the only way to explain how everyone else knew something that was obviously so important while I was still in the dark. I was going to ask, but everything I had said so far had made her more upset, so I just sat still.

"Do I have to spell it out in black and white?!" I had thought I was going to have to solve some sort of riddle, but I was relieved to know that she was finally just going to tell me what was on her mind.

"...Could you?.." I was a little afraid she was going to start yelling at me again, and I spoke softly. This was a whole side of Bijou I'd never seen before, and I wanted the fun, happy Bijou to come back again. I hoped getting to the source of the problem would make it easier to solve, and it would make her cheerful again.

She put her face in her paws and began crying, so I knew it couldn't have been easy for her to tell me. She finally opened her mouth to talk, but what she said was almost silent, and I had to strain to hear her. It didn't help that she had been doing nothing but yelling for the past few minutes. "Hamtaro...I like you..." I wondered why she had been so hesitant to say something like that. I already knew. She wouldn't have been my friend if she didn't like me. Again, I tried to speak, but was interrupted.

"And before you say that you know that because we're friends, that's not what I mean..." I could feel a headache coming on as I tried to figure it all out. Stan was right, it was like she was speaking in a different language! "I like you the way Sandy likes Maxwell...or how Pepper likes Oxnard..." My heart sped up, and I could feel my face getting warm. 'Oh...' I thought, finally understanding the situation. I was having a hard time controlling my thoughts, and my body was frozen. I stood completely still and looked at Bijou as she continued crying.

"I've liked you...ever since you sang for me...outside my window..." I wondered how I hadn't noticed in all the years we had been friends. 'Wait, everyone else knows this?!' I realized. I wanted to say something, but my voice had become useless, and the only sounds I could make were short sighs and grunts.

"Don't worry, you don't have to say anything..." she said, distracting me from my own frantic thoughts for a second. "You never have..." she said under her breath as she turned around and began running towards the clubhouse. "But..." I began, but by the time I had finally cleared my mind enough to say anything, she was far out of my speaking range. There I was, alone again with the sun almost completely below the horizon, the sky now turning a dark blue dotted with stars.

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I had never felt so guilty in all my life. I got what I had wanted, some time alone in perfect view of what was the sunset, but instead, my mind was plagued with how much I had just hurt Bijou. I wanted so desperately to be able to talk to her, to apologize and make things right, but even if I knew where she was, what in the world would I say? Did I like her the same way, or was she only a friend to me? What did love even FEEL like? Every question I answered for myself only seemed to create more questions. I was beginning to get frustrated, when the familiar sound of a guitar being played drifted to me ears. I searched around, the tune serving to calm my mind a bit. Another chord filled the air, and I looked up to see an old friend, sitting calmly on one of the lower branches of a nearby tree.

"Jingle! What are you doing here?" I asked, curious of the circumstances that had led to him hiding in that tree. I didn't notice him climb up there since I had been in the area, and that had been hours ago. I dropped my shoulders in embarrassment as I realized that he must have been there during me and Bijou's little...argument.

"My good friend Ham-burrito!" Over time, I had learned not to let Jingle's faulty memory bother me that much. If I did, I was convinced that I would have gone insane a long time ago. Still, I corrected him in the hopes that someday he'd finally get it right. I couldn't help the fact that I was an optimist.

"It's Hamtaro..." I mentioned in passing, "And it's good to see you again Jingle. It's been a while!" The last time we had spoken had been a couple months ago, around the time when Bijou and Boss had their little affair, if I remember correctly. His never-ending traveling made his visits both rare and anticipated events. My feelings were mixed between the happiness of seeing an old friend, and the lingering guilt I felt over how sad and depressed I knew Bijou must have been.

"The wind follows a winding path, but always finds its way back home," he said, calm as ever. I shook my head. His adventures hadn't changed him a bit. He strummed his guitar before speaking again, and the sad tone was carried in the wind, so it could still be heard as he continued. "A troubled mind makes a troubled life, and darkens a ham-ham's sight. Your thoughts are heavy now, but some friendly advice makes them light. Explain to me your strife, my hamigo."

More rhymes, and more metaphors I couldn't really understand, but I assumed the idea of what he was saying was that I should tell him what was bothering me, and that he could help. He must have already known, since he was in that tree all along, but I explained the story to him anyway, including as much detail as possible. Maybe someone like Jingle who had been all over the world knew something about situations like this.

"A wanderer, as I am, knows little of love, save for what Nature deems him worthy to observe on his travels." So he couldn't help me is what he was saying... "Point your eyes to the skies, and the answer will become clear." I was relieved that at least he hadn't coded that last sentence, and I dropped my head back so my face pointed toward the night sky, now completely dark. The stars really were beautiful, and the moon was almost full, sitting high in the dark blue blanket of night. I spotted the big dipper, and Orion, which I had always been my favorite constellation. It was impressive to see so many stars, being only a short ways from the city, but I failed to see how that had anything to do with love.

"Think back and remember. Once, I said that love is like the sky and the clouds." I got a little frustrated. 'Yeah, and I still have no idea what that's supposed to mean!' All he was succeeding in doing was making me more depressed as I remembered the day Oxnard had left to live with Pepper. I was so happy for them when they had gotten married, but I missed him more and more as the days rolled by, waiting for them to grace us with a visit again. "Love goes by many names, but Nature knows them all," he continued, apparently lost in his own world of melody and rhyme again. "And today she's enlightened our minds with love like the day and the night."

'...What?' was the only thing I could think to a statement like that. The day and night? I got up and began to walk away, sure that nothing Jingle was going to say would help me with my problems right now. "Thanks Jingle, I'll figure it out on my own..." I heard him jump down from the tree and put a paw on my shoulder. "The sky and the clouds; where there is sky, there are clouds, and where there is day there is night" he sang while playing his guitar, and at the point something clicked for me, if only just a bit. 'Maybe there's something to what he's saying' I reasoned.

"Together there is harmony, but a day without night, or a night without light, just would not be right." I looked up again, taking in his bit of philosophy. 'So...love is harmony between two hams?' At least, that's what I assumed he meant. Bijou and I were always such good friends, even keeping peace between most of the other ham-hams whenever there would be problems. We just had such chemistry, is that what Jingle meant?

"Day and night, each an amazing sight, but when day meets night at dawn and dusk, the most vibrant colors the two together describe." I smiled a bit, partly because, for once in my life, I was able to understand what he was trying to say. Two hamsters in love each have their own skills, abilities, talents, and experiences, but together they use their separate knowledge and wisdom to help each other to be their very best. "An orange sun and a blue night sky..." he thought out loud, "the poet's perfect match."

I looked back at Jingle, smiling ear to ear. Love was still a confusing subject to me, but I was eternally grateful that he'd found a way to be around when he was. I knew then what I wanted to say to Bijou to make both of us happy. "Jingle, I can't thank you enough for helping me out!" I said quickly, turning to head to Bijou's house. It was late, so I figured she had already headed back there. "Good luck...Hamtaro..." I heard, just barely, and I stopped in shock. When I turned around, however, Jingle had disappeared without a trace, only the padded down grass where I had been sitting to watch the sun earlier leaving any indication someone had been there at all.

I brushed it off, keeping focused as I had some business to attend to. I ran on all fours into the darkness, making a straight sprint to the old, familiar mansion where I had first met the french hamster, my night.

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Wonderful! Only one more chapter to go after this, and it probably won't be that long, so just hold out a bit more. :D

Jingle is such fun to write for. It was hard, don't get me wrong, but rhyming, alliteration, and all that good stuff are pretty much what make Jingle one of my favorite characters ever. (The guitar is pretty awesome too.) After this story is through, I have another idea for a story, so go to my profile to read more about it. Should be a good time.

You know, I can feel for Hamtaro, because I'm very similar. I'm carefree, happy, and adventurous, and when it comes to love, I'm pretty clueless... Seriously, I need people to tell me, "Hey, that girl's been hitting on you," because I just assume that people are being friendly. Needless to say, I'm still single. At least it made it easy to write as Hamtaro though, knowing how to keep him as in character as possible. (Again, not all that in character considering he left Laura and is kinda likin' Bijou now, but it's a fanfic!)


	4. Apologies

The final chapter of "A Beautiful Mess" is here! Sorry it took so long, I'm a mechanical engineering student, and I've been focusing about 98% of my time on just doing school work. The funny thing is that I PICKED this major. Talk about masochistic....

Anyway, let me just say some thanks to some reviewers of my story!

ChargingForwardBlind: Thank you, I really appreciate it! I actually really enjoyed writing Jingle; it's a helluva lot of fun. Hence, my next story (which is gonna be ongoing). And don't worry, Bijou gets her little bit of happy ending. :)

Laidbackguy: Glad you liked it, and that I could make you feel a little with it. Hopefully this one will turn the sad into happy.

RubyxSapphire: It's Hamtaro! Kinda hard to make it anything other than cute. :3 I still appreciate your review, though, so thank you very much!

Chipmunk4ever: No, I never really noticed that about the symbol, but you're kinda right. Yeah, I know how to procrastinate, I practically wrote the book. This chapter is a prime example, but it's finally done!

And now, let's continue on without making you wait any longer!

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BIJOU'S POV

Initially, I didn't realize what was going on. All I could comprehend were my own emotions, and my body seemed to be acting on its own. My vision went black, and suddenly, I was running through the leaves and grass away from Hamtaro. My memory came crashing back to me, and I finally realized what I had just done. I kept running, though I wanted so much to go back and apologize for my outburst. A part of me was still comprehending the fact that I had just confessed my feelings to him, and I thought it would be impossible to confront him again.

My head was pounding, and my legs felt like jello, but I continued to sprint until I reached one of the trails into the clubhouse. Without stopping, I leapt inside, taking quite the stumble as I did, but it didn't faze me. I must have looked like a mess, my formerly pristine blue ribbons now covered in dirt and my makeup likely running, but I paid little attention as I bolted towards the door. I threw it open and quickly closed it behind me before sitting down, my paws covering my face and my body tucked in close to my chest, against the door.

Luckily, most everyone had left for the day, and I silently thanked myself for that fact. The last thing I needed was five or six ham-hams all around me, trying to make me feel better. I looked up for a second when I heard quiet shuffling, and I saw Boss. He had probably heard the commotion I made coming in and left his room to find out what it was. He took one look at me and his face dropped. He never liked to see me upset or sad, kind of like having an older brother. He came over and sat down next to me without saying a word, and I cried into his shoulder for what must have been about a half hour. In fact, I was surprised there was that much water in my body.

When I finally calmed down, I pulled my head up to look at him. I already knew he was going to ask, but I waited for him to voice the question. "What happened?" he asked, quietly, calmly. I felt the lump in my throat come back again, but I choked it down and began to tell him exactly what occurred after he left me and Hamtaro alone. My sniffling must have made it almost impossible to comprehend what I was saying, but I continued anyway, including as much detail as possible, and Boss just sat quietly, listening.

When I had finished recalling the events, he turned his head down and shook his head. That wasn't exactly what he had been planning would happen, that much was obvious. All the ham-hams had worked so hard to make the whole day happen, and to keep it secret from me and Hamtaro, and it was depressing to think that all that they had done was for nothing. He looked back up at me before opening his mouth again. "Bijou, don't you know what day it is?" I thought for a second, trying to figure it all out. I knew it wasn't Hamtaro's birthday, I remembered that pretty well. It was almost summer, so I knew it wasn't Valentine's Day, or anything of the sort, either. Unfortunately, nothing came to mind, and Boss realized that. "Laura and her family left a year ago today."

It all sunk in, and I understood why Hamtaro had looked so sad, and why he wanted to be alone. It wasn't anything I did wrong, nor was it because he didn't notice me. I felt the tears come back again, my conscience kicking me for being so selfish on a day like today. I leaned back onto Boss' shoulder, crying again, and he held me close, trying to comfort me. He reminded me of the father I never had, the way he would put up a strong front and always give me his best advice. He probably knew exactly what was going through my mind and what I was feeling. "We all knew Hamtaro would be depressed today," he started, "and we all know you're the best at cheering any ham-ham up." He smiled as he explained what had been going on all day.

"I know I wouldn't want my day with you to end like that." I knew what he was saying, and I began to feel nervous again. I wasn't so sure I could talk to Hamtaro after what I had done today, but Boss was right. He deserved to be happy. That's what he had done for all the ham-hams through all these years. He held us together, made us a family, and reminded us of so many of our own values, like to always help a ham in need. "You know where he lives," Boss advised, "so go make things right." I smiled, probably for the first time since I had arrived at the clubhouse that morning, and wrapped my arms around his chest. I didn't say anything, but I didn't think it was necessary, and in a matter of seconds, I was darting off down the old tunnel again.

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"Hamtaro!" I yelled as loud as I could, pounding with all my force on the large, wooden door to his cozy little home. I had been trying for about ten minutes to get him to answer, but he refused to acknowledge me. The way I saw it, there were only two real possibilities: either he wasn't there at all, and I was desperately calling for someone who wasn't even around, or our fight earlier had made him want to ignore me completely. I cringed at the latter possibility, and I tried to remain optimistic. 'Maybe he's still watching the sky!' I convinced myself, refusing to believe he could possibly be angry at me after everything we had been through together. 'I'd be furious with you, if I was him,' my mind remarked, but I violently forced that thought to the back of my head, and darted off towards the clearing where we had our argument about an hour ago.

I held onto as much faith as I could, but that one creeping thought just kept haunting me, and I found myself running more out of desperation than anything else. I refused to let his day end on such a bad note, just because of me. When I finally got there, I recognized the leaves Boss had held aside when he led me there earlier, and I pulled them violently away. I dropped to my knees, heartbroken again, when all I found was an empty space where Hamtaro had been just over an hour ago. I felt the lump return to the back of my throat, but the tears just wouldn't come. I put my face in my paws and sobbed, but I didn't cry a single tear. I guess the whole day I had spent crying had left me dried out.

I dropped my head and dragged myself slowly to the empty spot in the grass, staring out at the stars. Usually, I loved staring out into the night sky, but it all just reminded me that the day was pretty much over, and Hamtaro had likely gone home, his last impression of the day being a fight with me, the ham he considered a best friend. 'What a way to repay him...' I thought, depressed as I spotted Orion amidst the other constellations. "Hamtaro's favorite..." I said to myself. Of course it was his favorite; Orion was the hunter, the adventurer. It was his love of adventure and sense of heroism that I loved about Hamtaro, but sometimes I wished he had noticed some of the other constellations like Cygnus, the swan, or Columba, the dove.

I felt numb, and it felt like I was dreaming. Bats flew overheard, screeching to find their way in the dark, but I never perked my ears to listen or followed them with my eyes, like instinct would normally tell me to do. I wasn't afraid of anything sneaking up on me, even though I was an easy, weak target for any predator. I now realize how very lucky I was that an owl didn't swoop down, or that a cat didn't creep up silently from behind that night. I must have sat there for close to an hour, though it felt like only a few minutes since I had no perception of time at that point, before I mentally recovered enough to consider that I should go back home. I was sure Maria was probably worried sick about me, but I couldn't bring myself to feel guilty for making her wonder where I was.

I remember standing up, my body sore from sitting completely still for so long, but I still can't recall ever actually walking back to the mansion where I lived. It was as if I was in autodrive, and my subconscious mind must have just guided me back home. All I can remember of the walk was seeing the white house become slowly visible above the concrete. The metal gate guarding the house came slowly into view as well, and I could make out something strange up against it. The moon was kind enough to shed some light on the street, and even in the dead of night, I could make out a familiar orange and cream outline. I halted when I realized it was Hamtaro, leaning against the iron gate, staring quietly up into the sky.

My heart began to beat faster, and the feeling returned to my body. Reality rushed back to me, and a cool breeze made me shiver. Suddenly, I could hear crickets and owls singing in the dark, and I could feel the cold asphalt beneath my feet. I could taste how dry my mouth was, and I swallowed hard, trying desperately to wet my throat again. What I noticed most, though, was that after seeing him, I didn't feel that hopeless, crushing pain I had been feeling only a few minutes earlier. My heart felt just a bit lighter, and the hope that I still had a chance to make this right came back. My throat was still dry, and my heart was probably going a million miles an hour, but I forced myself to slowly approach him.

He never looked down at me as I inched closer and closer to him. He just continued staring into the sky, and when I got close enough, I realized he was even smiling. I thought it was unusual for him to look so happy after we had argued and parted ways the way we did, and I longed to know what he was thinking about that caused him to be so calm and content. As I look back now, I'm glad he was, because it made it that much easier to approach him, knowing that he wasn't still upset or holding a grudge about what I had said to him. Before long, I stood only a few steps in front of him, my blue eyes on him, and his still focused on the stars.

"Hamtaro, I..." I began, but just the action of speaking beckoned the lump back into my throat. I wanted...no, I needed to tell him how sorry I was for what happened earlier, but it was as if the cold breeze that rolled by had taken my voice along with it. Every sound I did manage to make only made it harder to keep my composure. I didn't want to cry in front of him anymore, but my body didn't seem to agree with my mind, and I was tearing up again. I'm not sure if it was because I didn't want him to see me like that or if it was because I wanted to be close and make sure that he wasn't going to leave, but I moved closer and put my arms around him. And then I just let it all out. I half-talked, half-sobbed into him, trying to explain everything.

"I...I'm so sorry..." I managed to confess, somewhat unintelligibly, between sighs and sobs. I'm not sure exactly what I expected at that point. Maybe I thought he would push me away, upset and angry with me. Maybe I was hoping he would pull me in close, and tell me that it was okay. All I know is that when, after about five minutes, he did absolutely nothing, I started to get scared that maybe I had ruined any chance at all I had to be with him. Driven by this new fear, I just began talking, not really understanding what I was saying, but doing my best to explain how stupid I had been. I only stopped when I felt a slight pressure on my shoulders, pushing me back just enough so I could see his face.

He looked at me with that smile still on his face, and I felt more at ease knowing that he wasn't upset with me. "You look beautiful, Bijou." What he said was completely unexpected, and I almost didn't believe the words had really come from his mouth. I had a hard time understanding how, even with what little makeup I had running on my face from my tears and my fur and paws disheveled from running around all night in search of him, he still thought that I was beautiful. I wanted to comprehend why, and I tried to voice the question, but I was still too confused to do anything except sit there with my mouth slightly open, gaping at him.

Before I had the chance to collect my thoughts, he turned his head back up at the sky and it was silent again. Instead of feeling nervous and depressed by the lack of conversation, however, the silence was welcoming, and I felt closer to Hamtaro. I embraced the clear quiet night, and I looked up into the stars with him, but not before moving myself just a little bit closer to him. We may not have been "together" in the sense that I wanted to be, but I wouldn't have changed that night in any way.

We had been just sitting together for about a half hour, and I was beginning to think that I should head inside so that Maria would know that I was okay, but I felt a slight pressure on my paw. It was gentle, and barely noticeable, almost like the wind was kissing it. When I looked over to my right, I saw that Hamtaro had placed his paw on mine, though he seemed to be trembling a little as he did. He must have been more nervous about this kind of stuff than I thought, because when I turned to look at him, he quickly took his paw off mine and laid it on the ground next to him, his face going beat red.

I couldn't help but giggle a bit at how cute it was to see him the way he was. As far as I had ever known, Hamtaro had never been one to get embarrassed, and it felt nice to know that I was probably the only ham-ham who had seen this side of him. It meant I was closer to him than any of the others were. I found that I missed the feeling of his paw on mine, and I inched a bit closer. My face must have been about the same shade of cherry red as his when our paws finally touched again. We locked eyes for a quick second, and he smiled before looking back at the sky, this time without withdrawing his paw from mine. 'Well, I'm sure I could stay just a little while longer,' I thought before resting my head on his shoulder. Who would have known a day that began so terribly could become one of the best I can remember. You know, I even thought, as I was sitting there, genuinely happy to be alive, that I heard the soft sounds of a guitar on the wind.

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And there you have it! Sorry if it's not quite as good, I had a hard time writing this one. Regardless, I managed to finish the story off, and only about a month late! For all the readers from , thanks a bunch! It feels good to actually get reviews saying it's not a lousy story. And for all of you on HHP who might have read this, I would like to thank you too! There's unfortunately no real easy way to review the authors on HHP, and I know, I've wanted to send a few reviews to others myself.

Before I finish this off, I'm just gonna remind everyone reading that I'm (hopefully) not gonna completely disappear. I'd like to start an on ongoing Hamtaro fanfic, the main character of which will be Jingle! I really liked writing him in the third chapter of this story (or second, if we count the first as just a prologue), and I wanted to keep doing so. I'm calling it "Hourou Tongari," or "Wandering Jingle," kind of a play on "Tottuko Hamutaro." In any case, it's gonna be a series of his little adventures both in and out of the Ham-Ham clubhouse, so if you have any fan characters you'd like to make appearances in a chapter, PM me on fanfiction, or if you reading this on HHP, email me at .

Well that's all I have for all of you, so good bye, and good luck! Oh, and I know it's a couple days early, but HAPPY HALLOWEEN!


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